Star Wars Reference

Bah bah bah, bah bah bah, bah bah bah (imperial march). Yep, starting January 2nd, I help out by demoting myself to my old job, answering calls. And do you know what I will do in-between those calls? Drawing comics that point out how stupid the calls are!!!!

Yay for full circle. Oh, and no comic Friday, cause it be a holiday. Don't forget to watch the Twilight Zone Marathon!!

Truth

It's like looking into infinity! Ahahahahaa...and now you are insane. Sorry.

Go see Avatar for the 3D. Go see Avatar for the effects. Don't see Avatar thinking the plot is anything new. Cool effects though.

Haven't Seen It Yet

But I'm gonna see it Saturday, AT THE IMAX IN 3D!!! (See title of comic for beginning of question.)

On an aside, I have been using new mouths for the characters. I like it, better than the random lines that symbolized their talking before. Of course, it isn't photorealistic, but at least they have teeth. Most of the time.

Hey wait, if he was pure energy, how would he have a bladder? The transformation must have happened on the way out of the theater. It's the only logical explanation.

SHAKES!

This is based on a true story that sadly I am still in the midst of. You see, after joining a certain gym that is open, let's say, all hours of the day, all 24 of them...I began unknowingly accumulating points everytime they scanned my membercard on entry. At the six month mark, they offer me the opportunity to cash in said points at their store. Like a child that found money on the ground, I walked in not even knowing what to spend these points on, and ended up getting 8 chocolate workout shakes.

The gym tries to mail them to me, they didn't have my apartment number...fail.

One month later I email them and only then find out the issue, give them my address, they try again but I am not there to sign for it..fail #2.

They leave a note saying they will try again the next day between 10am and 5pm. My fiancee waits at home all day, then leaves at 5pm assuming they forgot, they come at 5:30...fail #3.

I go online Thursday night, tell them to keep it at the wearhouse and I will pick it up Saturday. Saturday rolls around and I call to verify it is there, it is still on the truck, won't be off till Monday...fail #4.

I drive on my lunch on Monday to the wearhouse, pick up the box, open it up...only four shakes. I had ordered 8....FAIL #5!!!!!!

So now, I must email them and remind them that I ordered shakes I didn't even want, with points I didn't even know I had, and they have messed up FIVE TIMES!!! and to please send the remaining shakes to my house, with no requirement for signature.

(collapse)

Wilbur

I tried a new way of drawing their mouths today, I think it has promise but a bit more tweaking is in order. And no, I didn't name my peak hair. But I do check that it still grows from time to time. Still there baby, still there.

Happy Friday everyone! And Happy eighth night (final) of Hannukah. Good thing too, cause I was running out of candles. It took a racially insensitive amount of time to find those candles.

Without A Cause

I think the only reason they unblocked the blog code at work is because suddenly our homepage has a blog. Once it suits them, things become legal. Was Michael Moore right? Nooo, he's too gross to be right.

I ate a gourmet peppermint marshmellow today. Let me be the first to say that is not a tasty treat. Booo on the makers of that culinary disaster. It was like biting chalk dust that was suspended in a semi-fluid filled with broken glass and sugar. Suffice to say, the sugar was the high point.

Happy Hannukah!

Not particularly Hannukah-themed, but it is light hearted and there is a truth to it. I did accidently take her keys to work today. But when I go home, I get to pick up my car and it will be so nice. Then it's time for Latkahs and jelly donuts (cause they are fried, and the oil of the lamp lasted eight nights, eh?) So have a happy Holliday everyone.

A Modest Proposal

I put the plant talking in the end to comfort the weaker-minded readers who might be offended by the underlying message. However, if you truly can think of a reason not to let the man get what he wants, then please post on this blog, because I have been denying his hospitalizations for like 2 years now, and I don't think that what we are doing is helping.

On a lighter note, kittens like to use their litterboxes when you are in the shower and cannot escape the stronger than expected fumes. Just so you know.

Up the Tailpipe

Need a new gastank for a 2000 Jetta vr6 because a flap inside broke off and is lodged in the tank. That is the poo. Luckily the moment I mentioned that I might take it to another shop, they "remembered" that they have a used tank for $300 less locally. How nice. Still, that is the poo.

Apologize

Sorry folks, had a family emergency that I had (still do) attend in Florida. No comic for a week and I didnt' even warn you. Hope everyone is doing ok.

Should be back on track Monday.

Catch The Fever

Edward is the vampire from the Twilight movies, if you didn't know. If you want more paradies of Twilight, either go to Hulu and look up "Firelight" for a Frankenstein/Mummy twist, or go to Howitshouldhaveended for...well that one is self explanitory, but funny.

I suggest watching the Twilight trailer before seeing the Hulu one, then watching the movie before the other, for maximum funny-itude.

Why is Twilight leeching into a webcomic about a call center? Trust me, it is on people's minds.

All Better Now

Feels like forever since I posted, but really only since Monday. Man, this has been a busy week. One person sick, another taking vacation, the world getting just a little bit crazier with the thought of visiting relatives...just nuts.

OMG they just gave me more work with 25 minutes until the end of the day. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Just Try It

Go to Facebook, try farmville, and then tell me that you have better things to do. YOU CAN'T!!!!

In fact, after I work out tonight, I am going home to harvest my crops. I might even milk a cow. Now that's fun.

Battleplan

This comic is so colorful, it might make you dizzy. Nothing like throwing a cat at someone's face to round out a work week.

New fact of the day to providers (therapists). When you ask for a claim to be paid at a higher level, make sure you didn't sign a contract saying that you would only get what you were already paid. It saves me a lot of time pointing it out to you.

Power Suit

A new character?! Boy howdy, this web comic is just wonderful! Awww, and it is a cute little kittie with possible human-level intelligence. I sense a new side-kick...

I have no idea how you could do kick boxing in a suit. Especially with the jacket and tie. No problem with the cat kick boxing. I mean, they are really flexible.

More Than Meets The Eye

Originally I wanted it implanted in my head, not specifically my eyes, but the comic had other plans. Who am I to deprive the readers of such occular horror such as this?

Busy Monday. I guess everyone went crazy over the weekend and their doctors forgot how to deal with it. I mean, sometimes that happens. Right?

Some Kind of Genius

This idea also works if you strap a buttered piece of toast to the back of a cat. The cat will always land on it's feat and the toast will always land butter-down, so if you drop the cat/toast engin, it will keep spinning forever, not knowing which end it should land on. Wrap that sucker with some magnets and copper coil and that there is a perpetual motion machine.

I mean, these ideas are gold. OH, and I got the Motorola Droid today...(said in high-pitched voice) SO WORTH IT.

Singularity

By the way, we created the black hole in the third panel, and it is sucking us into it. Sorry for the confusion, but I am limited by the version of photoshop, and the fact that I can't draw.

Well, time to go to the gym to make up for all the treats that I have been eating.

Pics from Halloween

As promised, here is the finished result of 2 1/2 weeks of construction and geekdom. Hope this picture fits. OH, and no those beams didn't actually come out of the packs, but photoshop is my friend.

Droid

I want the Verizon Droid. Look it up. Drool. Use a napkin.

Friendly Reminder

I'm just saying, I better see some A-game out there. If you saw the proton packs that I built with my coworkers, you might shed a tear or two. So when you are home, trying to decide whether or not to dress up because you might be the minority who did, think of this comic. And bats.

"I love this plan. I'm excited to be a part of it."

Bill Murray, Ghostbusters

MAGIC!

Maybe I went....AND MAYBE IT WAS MAGICAL!!!

Sharing is Caring

Quick, and tasty. Gotta go pick up my cat from the vet. Minus worms!!!

Not Really That Way

NOO IT'S NOT REALLY LIKE THAT HERE DON'T THINK THAT IT IS!

But I do have a toy car/pen on my desk. It is black with green flame decals and it is also a pen. Yay for adult toys. OH oh oh and I have another pen with a small Batman figurine swinging from the top. OHOHOH and I have a pen that if you push a button it glows red.

Lame joke

This was a rush job due to actual "work" so I hope it dances close to the realms of comedy. Feel free to boo, but you know it makes you smile so that's what counts.

Ghostbuster costume building commenses tomorrow. It's gonna be a whole lot of using science as a verb. And I do love to science things.

Indulge

Ummm, some candy dishes are made of candy, right? Don't spoil my dream.

Ugg, got to go to the gym today. It has been just long enough since I last went to make it really hard to go again, but not long enough that I loose the will to force myself. Dangerous position to be in, for my belly.

Make today as an important day in my dream occupation of TV producer. A certain project I have been working on is now being shopped by a certain high profile but yet to be disclosed production company. If they can convince a network to buy the show, then pancakes for everyone!

Smell of defeat

Yes I use axe, but no the audit people didn't care, or for that matter, even ask.

Busy day, busy day wearing a tie. But I get to come home to a cute cat, so that's all good. Sorry about yesterday, but when the boss says you can leave early, you go. The whole crew had to be told three time before we realized she wasn't joking, but then it was time to escape!

Snow Day

Our boss said we could leave an hour early today. Ummm, yea, I am gonna take that offer. Free time off. Comic to come tomorrow.

Good job it is.

Law of attraction...TO CANDY

Hahahahah, it's fiction I'm still thin I can still eat candy lalalalalalalala. I might or might not have eaten some Milk Duds while I drew this.

I am going to get a Kitty this weekend! I have never had a pet before and I assume the kitty will sense this and try to make a good impression on me for all pet kind. Right? Or will they sense my fear and poop in my cereal? I hope there is no poop in my Count Chocula. That's right, we found a box.

Generosity

And it's an insurance company! Oh well.

So it's been decided that three fellas and I are going to be Ghostbusters at work. A date has been set to build the suits, and pictures will be forthcoming on this blog to show the progress. Expect the unexpected, and lots of spray paint.

Who you gonna bill

OOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAA, I love Halloween. And yes, I am going to attempt to build a Ghostbusters costume, including Proton pack to varying degrees of functionality. It may not catch ghosts, but it might light up. I'm just saying, the store-bought version is $40, and if I can keep my version under or equal to that, I will feel mighty fine.

Candy is a storm that has settled over my house. I prey it doesn't leave.

One fish, two fish

No, they don't let bears into our office, but if they did, I am pretty sure they would go right for people who smell like fish. I got my cholesterol checked and all looks great except for my good HDL levels, thus the fish oil plan. Hopefully that plus red wine and dark chocolate will up my numbers. Going to the gym more than twice a week couldn't hurt either, but that's a schedule thing.

October means candy, and candy means a happy Dan. Just letting you all know that as an adult, I realized that you can just buy the candy and eat it, rather than going door to door getting a few pieces at a time. "But Dan, you magnificent bastard", you ask, "what candy do you give out?" Full size, my friends, full size.

A penitent man shall bill

Sometimes it's just more fun to make it up.

Glad to be back, giving a comic on Tuesday to make up for the lag. Car is in the shop, a light was out. Evidently Jiffy Lube can't be trusted to change a light bulb, which was all that was wrong with it. However, a few other things coupled with a full service that is 13 thousand miles overdue, I ended up spending what I expected to spend.

But don't worry. The car will still shriek when I turn it on. Thank German engineering for that. VW in the house.

MAD RUSH

Sorry, couldn't get to the comic today. I got as far as printing off my three box template, and then a big ol' pile of work came in literally due yesterday. The facility mailed it to the wrong place, and by the time it got to us, it was already late. I didn't do it!

Happy Yom Tov to all those on Monday, (I also won't have a comic that day, sorry.) For those of you not in the know, it is the Jewish day of atonement. Basically about 10 days prior, we have Rosh Hashannah. Think of that as New Years, but instead of fireworks we blow into ram's hornes. Yea, not as good, I know. And then then we have 10 days to apologize for everyone we wronged the previous year, and then on Yom kippur, we focus on the negative of the previous year. Is it as simple as that? No. Does it feel like a downer of a holiday, since you have to fast all day and go to services all day? Yes.

To be the chosen people...

Excuses

"What did I pull out of my eyes? WHAT AM I HOLDING?"

Ahahhahahaha.

Yes, the stack of mail today was forest-thick, but it was really only three issues, with way too much supplemental info. People go overboard.

Fiance gets home tonight, hopefully not too sunburnt. I will take her out to dinner somewhere to celebrate. I wonder where?

Dan

Repeat Offender

Well, I do like to work out.

Following the lead of a coworker, I have been cooking my meals at home and then tupperwearing them to work. Mostly rice, lean chicken and veggies. I was doing all that before, but the absorbed behavior is breaking my serving size up into 3 chunks, and eating them every few hours throughout the day. It is a weird concept that every dietician will endorse (more meals, smaller servings). I at my first "chunk" right before my lunch hour, the second chunk a few hours later, and...oh...I forgot to eat my third chunk.

Now I sat there pondering this, and realized that this may be an uninteded consequence of such an eating pattern. I overall ate 2/3rds of what I would have, and I don't feel hungry at all.

Take that Jenny Craig. Is she still relevant? Anyone get the reference? Oh well poo, now I'm hungry.

Thinking of Jew

Happy Rosh Hashannah to everyone! If you don't know what that is, it's the Jewish new year. We are at 5770, so take that, Asian cultures. We beat you.

Celebrate by eating sweets, like apples and honey. When asked, say that you are bringing in a sweet new year, and if they don't like it then they are anti-semitic.

My boss took the team out to pastries at a nice bakery in Lake Oswego. Let's just say everyone at the bakery was beautiful. And by that I mean they could afford to be. And by that I mean they were rich. And by that I mean I was jealous of them.

mixed generation office

Ah, nice to be back. Dissappointing weather led to a less than sunny beach stay, but still worth it. If I were fully accurate, the bear chest (complete with hair) would have randome splotches of sun-burn. Detail must be sacrificed for the time allotted, sadly.

It's funny. My Fiancee is about to leave for a week vacation in Hawaii, leaving me alone at home. My first instinct is to eat lots of junk food while she is gone, but on further retrospect, she doesn't stand as a barrier to that while she is here. In fact she joins in, happily, with a fork in each hand. So perhaps to shake things up I will eat super healthy while she is gone.

Wooo, whey germ shakes party at Dan's house, wooooooooh!

Terminal Case of the Fridays

Yes, I am about to go on vacation. For you loyal fans, I will be back posting on Wed, the 16th. Oh, and sorry about this past Wed, my old boss got promoted and I was distracted congratulating her.

So, Batman game is amazing. Anyone thinking to themselves, "I want to be Batman, but without the baggage of physical danger and murdered parents", then this is the game for you. Oh man it is good. Where was I? Lost my train of thought. It's time for vacation.

See you all mid September!

Karma

Sometime I don't get angry providers. You call and swear and cuss and try to fire people, and then you send in a request for payment and...what...hope we don't look at the notes? I am not saying that we deny payment based on how we get treated on calls, but if someone messed up and they are asking for an exception, telling us to F our M's in the A won't get you there faster.

Batman videogame comes today. I is gonna be the Dark Knight

Special Day

Yes, a little mini-freak out is called for. But a good freak out. Like when you try to go to bed the night before you go to Disneyland. You are going to be freaking out, but it's a good thing. As long as I can get some rest, I'll be fine.

Probably going to take a day trip to the Gorge on Sunday. Very windy, and high chances of buying a caramel apple from the chocolate mountain factory-whatever it's name is. Mmmmm, with nuts.

Land Shark

So, background info is, there is a provider that is refusing to obtain a certain code that will get his claims paid. It doesn't matter what the code is, just know that you can get it online, and it takes about 20 minutes. When I was on the phones, this guy called non-stop for a good day or two yelling at us for requiring it, rather than just getting it. We told him how to get it, we told him he needed it to be paid. No dice.

So now in appeals, what comes across my desk, but his letter requesting a formal review of the file and payment of claims. Interesting. Anyone who has just read this comment is more than qualified to tell him what he needs to do to get paid.

Congradulations, all of you are now expertly trained in claims. And no, he isn't going to get paid, I denied him. Feels good...feels right.

Good Intentions

Things are starting to go well. Nothing like the comic has happened, but between my job and my fiancee working at a hospital, we have plenty of stories about trying to assist dead people. And no, we didn't know they were dead at the time.

Verizon wireless' service is perfect, I have not lost a call (due to my reception going out) in several years. However, the time between them getting a cool phone and the other companies getting a cool phone is verging on years, with Verizon in the back. Research is being put into the possibility of an Iphone switch. It's up to you, Storm II. If you are a lemon, then Verizon Wireless looses a customer.

Or not, I dunno yet. I get a 20% discount on Verizon plans through my work, and a 23% discount for AT&T. Rack your brains on where the 3% difference came from.

System Shock

That is my new boss, if you needed explanation.

Yes, I am settling in, and my hands are considerably slower at this job...for now. Just wait, I will be wearing out keyboards in no time. I did discover a new office supply that weirds me out. It is a rubber cover for your finger, so you can flip through paper without having to lick your fingers for friction.

Now you know someone invented that, and you know they are, if not rich, then very well off. That irritates me deeply.

Perhaps I will invent a (insert something simply) that helps people (insert repetitive task) easier so they don't have to (insert activity that people should be doing anyways, lest they become obese).

Shocking

Wow, this new job is a lot of work. I mean, it just keeps coming. The public needs to just accept that they won't get paid. Stop sending in stuff! Naw, sometimes we do pay, and we always feel bad when we don't. Aha, didn't know we had a human face, did ya? Well, we do.

Sorry for Monday, it was the first day, and they had me training all day.

moving day

Yes, it's moving day. Time to shed unwanted papers, and take up residence in another cube. No time for spell checking, so if there are any errors, just live with them over the weekend. Do it. Doooo EEETTT NOWWWWW. (Arnold voice)

The Flow

Busy day, compounded by my "Senior-itis" of only having 3 more days left on the phones. An interesting side-effect is that when there is a fix that requires monitoring, I have to pass it off to a co-worker. I won't be there to follow up. Bwahahaahahaaha. cough. Anyways,

pot luck tomorrow! Everyone bring tasty stuff!

Anxious

Hahahaha, I drew less but it still works. Cheating is great. Let that be a lesson kids; If you are too busy to do things right, think around the problem and you will find a new, invetive solution. And have time to daydream about video games.

T-minus one week until the new job starts. I doubt the comics will go away, but there might be a little lag due to a new schedule. We shall see.

My soon to be father-in-law gave me some speakers for my TV last night. I can't wait to pop Iron Man in and let Tony Stark explode my chest cavity with his awesomeness. And now to continue designing my father's website.

Holy hormones, Batman!

No time for witty banter. Got to go home. Bank, Gym, cookies. Important stuff.

Based on True Events

Wow, almost missed it. I am leaving work early today to mosey down to the radio station and pick up my free tickets to Hawaii. But, comic is done and uploaded, so all that is important is attended to.

I might even get to eat dinner at Costco today, so let's all cross our fingers on that one.

As for the comic today, yes when you use lingo incorrectly it will confuse us. If you get frustraited at that, the quickest way to stop the irritation is to stop pretending like you work for an insurance company. Even we don't like to use the lingo, so don't you start.

Charmed

Truly a good day. Got a promotion to a new job (hopefully I will still have free time to draw comics) and then I found out I won 2 tickets and a 4 day resort stay in Maui. Oddly enough, the contest was a video contest for a radio station, but hey, I won so they can do whatever they want.

Now to tell my fiancee, whom bought a ticket to Hawaii two days ago. She will have mixed feelings about this. There might be cursing.

Stay frosty, folks! It's a scorcher out there!

Busy Day

Sorry folks, I was negotiating a higher rate for a new job today, didn't have time to draw a comic. I will do one tomorrow to make up.

Good news though, I got a new job! sure it is with the same company, and sure the pay could have been more, but it's something and that's what counts. I just climbed one rung of the corporate ladder.

Time Crunch

I kinda had to rush today putting out the comic, so I feel it is a bit dull. But it comes from the heart, so that's what counts. Don't roll your eyes....

So evidently Satan decided to get a summer home in Portland, because the triple digits are nuzzling us with their ceribus-like noses. Look at me pulling out the references! Going food shopping today, half because I need food, and half because it will be air-conditioned. Mmmmmmm

The Sleepy Frontier

I am actually not that tired, considering I have to come in a half hour earlier with the new closing time messing up my hours. But I wanted to do something pretty, and space is pretty.

In space, no one can hear you photoshop. (boo)

I ate lots of pizza today. I am a happy boy. And guess what I have at home in my fridge waiting for me? More pizza, yet oddly enough, a different type. It has been a pizza week. Sadly I must stop off at the gym for an hour to make up for this. Oh pizza, how you taunt me so.

Oo and my new reading glasses are awaiting my pickup. Can't wait to read in style.