Skeletor Up In This Mother!

Above you can see a very nice picture of my SON! Yep, he flashed his little (it was actually pretty sizable) dingaling and we shall begin buying action figures and wrapping the house in bubble wrap. Below, you can see his face, which can only be described as the arch-villain to HEMAN. Very confusing how my wife is giving birth to a fictional skeleton evil warlord, but I've had a cell phone in my pocket right next to 'the boys' for like 10 years now, so who knows what that does to your DNA.

Anyways, now I must sadly dismantle my office and turn it into a nursery. Sad only because I loved having a "Man-cave" but something tells me I'll love my awesome skeleton son even more.

Dirty Truth

Part of that training I talked about on Monday is that I must think of an idea to better the company. I was actually told if I bettered the company enough they would let someone go, because they could justify not needing as many people. This world is terrible.

I somehow destroyed my back, and haven't been able to stand up straight for a day and a half now. I called my new insurance company to see about an in network provider to fix it, and man were they not prepared for me. "You can see anyone you want, it's the same charge" then I would reply "Yea, but won't I be liable for any overage amounts if I see someone not contracted?" to which they put me on hold for 15 minutes and came back telling me I was right. It's sad that you have to work for an insurance company to not get screwed by one.

But, less than one week until baby pictures, so that's what matters.

Trial Separation

I was recently accepted into the six sigma green belt training through my company, which is a fancy way of saying I am going to be taught how to find problems and fix them. I don't know why people need training for this, but I suppose it's mostly to learn what all the acronyms they throw around mean. Such as SME (subject matter expert). Ah, don't you feel smart? Anyways, they say it will require precisely 25% of my workday for this project, and will take several months. In looking where I can harvest such a pound of flesh, my eyes fall to my already inconsistent comic.

Is this the end of in-between calls? No, but I wouldn't set your clock by how often I update anymore. Really updates will be as spotty as it has been, but I wanted to explain why. OH, and look for pics of the growing baby next Wed, this time with genitalia!

Lemons into Lemonade

The fact that a therapists picked a phone number out of the Ether and tried to pass it off as proof that we were swindling him is exactly why I enjoy my job. People think insurance companies are out to throw bureaucratic red tape around until no one can do anything, and that may be true. But my specific roll in that red tape is to make sure members are protected from devious ne'er-do-wells who would otherwise rob them blind. I'm not supporting my company, but I'm defending my own little corner of it.

March 23rd is the date I find out whether I am buying action figures or dolls for my kid. Hopefully the only time in my life that I will be counting down the days until I get to stare at my kid naked.

Rushed for Time

Yes, everyone laughs at poop jokes. Everyone...who loves America.

Franklin Wunder screening was an unparalleled success. With 165 tickets sold we broke even and have enough left over to submit the film into several film festivals. I look forward to the wonderful problem of picking which festival to go to, since my movie is playing in more than one at the same time.

As for little baby Wiggle (the fetus with half my genetics), things look good, and soon we will know the sex, so stay tuned for that. Never too early to reinforce societal norms of gender rolls. No you can't wear pink, YOU'RE A BOY! It says it clearly on this cigar I'm smoking. Now enjoy your blue until you grow up to be cool enough to wear pink ironically.